I Don't make this stuff up!

Burning bagel empties Portland City Hall

The Associated Press

PORTLAND, Ore. - An overdone bagel forced the evacuation of Portland's City Hall. The Oregonian reported that City Hall emptied for about 20 minutes Wednesday morning while firefighters dealt with the burning bagel in the break room of Mayor Sam Adam's office. There's no immediate word on who burned the bagel in the toaster oven or what type of bagel it was.

City commissioners were meeting at the time and joined those who took to the sidewalks. Adams apologized for the interruption after the evacuation.

Ok, lets see I wonder how many fire engines, ambulances, police cars and swat teams were called out on this......

What has happened with someone walking up to a toaster and flicking it out, stuff like this didn't happen years ago............

PETA proposes robotic groundhog for Pa. festival

The Associated Press

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. - An animal rights group wants organizers of Pennsylvania's Groundhog Day festival to replace Punxsutawney Phil with a robotic stand-in.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals says it's unfair to keep the animal in captivity and subject him to the huge crowds and bright lights that accompany tens of thousands of revelers each Feb. 2 in Punxsutawney, a tiny borough about 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh. PETA is suggesting the use of an animatronic model.

But William Deeley, president of the Inner Circle of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club, says the animal is "being treated better than the average child in Pennsylvania." The groundhog is kept in a climate-controlled environment and is inspected annually by the state Department of Agriculture.

Deeley says PETA isn't interested in Phil from Feb. 2 on, and is looking for publicity.

With all the stuff going on, you would think their efforts would be better spent on doing more to educate people on taking care of their pets that get abandoned and abused......

Hard to make up stuff like this!

Cops: Woman claims white powder came from doughnut

The Associated Press

MARYVILLE, Tenn. - East Tennessee police said a Knoxville woman who was later arrested for cocaine possession initially told an officer that she had been eating a powdered doughnut. The Maryville Daily Times reported that a 21-year-old woman was arrested on Thursday and charged with possession of a Schedule II substance with intent to sell or deliver. She was also cited for driving on a suspended driver's license, driving without proof of insurance, failure to maintain her lane of traffic and possession of drug paraphernalia.

According to an Alcoa police report, a field test on the substance indicated that the white powder she put in her mouth as an officer approached the car was cocaine, not a sugary pastry.

She was being held in the Blount County Jail on a $12,250 bond pending a court hearing on Monday.

Gotta love the resourcefulness of spinning this whopper........

Epedemic Stupidity or Overreaction Again!

Bag with Kermit the Frog causes school closure

The Associated Press

LAFAYETTE, Colo. - Boulder authorities locked down a Lafayette charter school while they examined a duffel bag left at the campus parking lot that ended up containing a Kermit the Frog doll. Boulder County's bomb squad responded to the Peak to Peak Charter School after an employee there called at about 7:15 a.m. Wednesday to report the unattended bag. Authorities used a robot with movable arms and a camera to investigate the bag and then an officer inspected it to make sure it was safe.

Authorities cleared the scene at about 10 a.m. Students and staff were locked down until then in a campus building.

The charter school is for K-12 students.

What is the problem with these people? This is becoming epidemic and no longer funny. Sad.....truly sad.....

Flight diverted to Pa. after confusion over prayer

By KATHY MATHESON Associated Press Writer

PHILADELPHIA - A misunderstanding about an Orthodox Jewish prayer ritual led a US Airways Express captain to divert his Kentucky-bound plane to Philadelphia on Thursday, authorities said.

A plane is escorted by a law enforcement vehicle to a terminal at Philadelphia International Airport in Philadelphia, Thursday, Jan. 21, 2010. A spokesman for US Airways says a flight from New York to Louisville, Ky., has been diverted to Philadelphia International Airport because of security concerns. Spokesman Jim Olson says US Airways Express Flight 3709 landed in Philadelphia around 9 a.m. Thursday morning after taking off from La Guardia airport. He would not elaborate on the security concern. (AP Photo/Matt Rourke)

A 17-year-old boy on Flight 3079 traveling from New York to Louisville was using tefillin, a set of small black boxes attached to leather straps and containing biblical passages, said Philadelphia police Lt. Frank Vanore.

When used in prayer, one box is strapped to the arm while the other box is placed on the head.

"It's something that the average person is not going to see very often, if ever," FBI spokesman J.J. Klaver said.

The teen explained the ritual after being questioned by crew members, but the captain decided to land in Philadelphia anyway, authorities said.

The flight left LaGuardia Airport in New York around 7:30 a.m.; it landed without incident in Philadelphia about 90 minutes later and was met by police and officials from the FBI and Transportation Security Administration.

Authorities said the plane was searched and passengers were questioned. The teen, who is from White Plains, N.Y., and was traveling with his 16-year-old sister, was very cooperative, Vanore said.

"They were more alarmed than we were," Vanore said.

Klaver said the teen and his sister were never in custody, and have been cleared to continue their travels.

Passengers on 50-seat regional jet, which was operated by Chautauqua Airlines, were rebooked on other flights, US Airways spokesman Morgan Durrant said.

Add another overreaction story......Since you can't slaughter and cook a lamb on the plane as a religious ritual, they probably should ban all, except praying for your ass when the plane is going down.......

Bang bang, or your dead.

Calif. man shoots his way out of sinking SUV

The Associated Press

ROSEVILLE, Calif. - A driver whose SUV plunged into a Northern California creek after he was startled by his hands-free cell phone device escaped the sinking vehicle by blasting out the window with a handgun. The 28-year-old man, whose name wasn't immediately available, is an armed security guard at Thunder Valley Casino, north of Sacramento. He sustained minor injuries in Sunday's accident.

A spokesman for the Roseville Fire Department said the man was traveling northbound on Industrial Avenue in Roseville when the cell phone device activated. The driver was startled and veered off the road through the guardrail. The SUV landed in Pleasant Grove Creek.

He used his gun to shoot himself out, then flagged down a passerby.

This is all fine and good but you have to realize that if it was anyone else, they would have been trapped in the vehicle or they would have been arrested for discharging a firearm and having one in the vehicle.......

Gee, he didn't write the other word.......

Pa. man fined for 'dirty' words on state truck

The Associated Press

HERMITAGE, Pa. - A western Pennsylvania man has been fined $50 for using his finger to write derogatory words on the dirty cab of a Pennsylvania Fish and Boat Commission truck. Charles J. Vranich, 33, of South Pymatuning Township, pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct last week on a citation filed by Fish Commission Officer Jeffrey Giardina. Vranich wrote the words on the officer's truck when both happened to be at the same gas station in September.

Vranich wasn't immediately available for comment, but his father, Charles Sr., said Monday his son wrote "I suck" on Giardina's truck because his son was upset that the officer made him take an alcohol breath test - which Vranich passed - after boating weeks before.

Where are the expression of free speech advocates when you need them?

SAN DIEGO

Science project empties school

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A San Diego middle school was evacuated when a student's science project was mistaken for a bomb, the fire department said.

Department spokesman Maurice Luque said a vice principal's concerns prompted the evacuation of Millennial Tech Magnet Middle School on Friday.

An arson team took photos and X-rays of the empty plastic bottle with wires and determined it was harmless, Luque said.

The 11-year-old boy was trying to build a motion detector from instructions he found on the Internet and parts he bought online with help from his father, Luque said.

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/01/17/BAOU1BJ9HC.DTL#ixzz0cuR18Po9


This is not the first time, if it wasn't so sad, it would be funny!

Man allegedly threatens neighbors with slingshot

The Associated Press

ORANGE CITY, Fla. - A Volusia County man has been charged with threatening his neighbors with a slingshot. Orange City police said a 65-year-old man got into an argument with another man in the laundry room of their apartment complex on Sunday. The resident told police that the suspect left the room, saying "You made a big mistake with me."

The suspect reportedly came back later and pointed a slingshot at the other man and his mother. The resident called police, who questioned him and arrested him. An officer reported finding a slingshot and four rocks in the man's pocket. The suspect told the officer that the weapon didn't belong to him.

The man was charged with aggravated assault and resisting arrest without violence. He was released Monday on $3,000 bail.

OK, Let me get this straight.....so if you have a slingshot and rocks you can get arrested?
Just think of all the kids , me included that should have been in jail.......

Man who said he was 'massaging' meat gets 10 years

The Associated Press

ORANGEBURG, S.C. - A South Carolina man has been sentenced to 10 years in prison for stealing an $80 slab of meat. The Times and Democrat of Orangeburg reported Thursday that 51-year-old Mark Zachary of Orangeburg received the maximum sentence after jurors found him guilty Wednesday of shoplifting. Prosecutors said the sentence was justified because the Aug. 26 theft from Reid's grocery store in Orangeburg was his ninth offense.

Authorities said when a store manager approached Zachary about the missing New York strip and the big bulk under his shirt, he fled, right into the arms of an off-duty police officer.

Assistant Solicitor Glenn Justis asked jurors "Where's the beef?" in his opening argument.

Zachary testified he was "massaging" the meat, not stealing it.

10 years, So for an 80 dollar hunk of meat, the taxpayers are going to pay to house, feed and clothe this guy for 10 years?

Brilliant, simply Outstanding logic!

HEY, PULL OVER!

Cops: Pa. man steals $50, flees on Walmart scooter

The Associated Press

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UNIONTOWN, Pa. - Police say a Pennsylvania man in a hospital gown stole $50 from his ex-girlfriend at Wal-Mart, then tried to flee on a store-owned motorized shopping scooter.

Thirty-two-year-old Craig David Jr., of Smithfield, was charged Wednesday with robbery and disorderly conduct.

State police Cpl. Chuck Frey says David had just been released from a hospital for injuries in a domestic dispute Jan. 1. Frey says David had been hit with a frying pan and table leg.

David was still in a hospital gown Tuesday night when he met an ex-girlfriend who agreed to pay for his prescription medication. Instead, police say he grabbed $50 from her and scooted away.

David remained jailed Thursday. He does not have an attorney.

Glad they had a speed governor on this hot rod scooter......

Oh Honey you are so big!

Callers to free tow number directed to porn line

The Associated Press

CARLSBAD, N.M. - Oops, wrong number.

Some New Year's Eve revelers in Carlsbad who had a little too much to drink got a surprise when they called a toll-free number for a free tow home.

Instead of assistance, they got instructions to call a second toll-free number that offered pornographic conversation.

AAA Texas and New Mexico acknowledged the mistake and blamed it on a typographical error. Spokesman Dan Roman apologized to anyone who called the number and wasn't able to take advantage of the tow offer.

Guess no one ever figured on testing the number just for the hell of it?

Pay up you speeder!

Swiss court fines speeding millionaire $290,000

The Associated Press

ST. GALLEN, Switzerland - A Swiss court has slapped a wealthy speeder with a chalet-sized fine - a full $290,000.

Judges at the cantonal court in St. Gallen, in eastern Switzerland, based the record-breaking fine on the speeder's estimated wealth of over $20 million.

A statement on the court's Web site says the driver - a repeat offender - drove up to 35 miles an hour (57 kilometers an hour) faster than the 50-mile-an-hour (80-kilometer-an-hour) limit.

Court clerk Heidi Baumann-Becker said Thursday the unidentified driver can appeal the decision, handed down in November, to the Swiss supreme court.

The Blick daily newspaper in Zurich reported the fine was more than twice the previous Swiss record of about $107,000.

I guess giving the police 200 pesos is a better deal? Better be careful if you are driving a BMW or Mercedes nowadays....... surpirsed the US courts haven't figured out this profit center!